Favorite quotes

AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH! I KNEW that.

I would have got it too if I'd read Tom's post properly......'Author'

I did word it properly Tim. You really knew too.
Thomas

The book by the way is excellent

"Did you say 'yutes'?"
("My Cousin Vinnie")


"You're a goddamn Nazi!"
("Elves")
Sorry -- still haven't recovered from that aweful movie:
http://www.maintitles.net/forum/discuss … i/#Item_13


"Questions are a burden to others; answers a prison for oneself"
"Unlike me, many of you have accepted the situation of your imprisonment and will die here like rotten cabbages."
"Everyone votes for a dictator."
("The Prisoner"; original TV series, not that remake crap)


Neal: "You know what would make me happy?"
Del: "Another couple balls and an extra set of fingers?"
("Planes, Trains, and Automobiles")


Dark Helmet: "Fire a warning shot across her nose..."
Lasers come close to hitting Princess Vespta's shuttle
Dark Helmet: Whacking his helmet open, "Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not [o]up it![/i]"
Crewman: "Sorry, sir. Doing the best I can," turning to him; he's cross-eyed.
Dark Helmet: "Who made this man a gunner?"
High-ranking crewman: "I did, sir! He's my cousin!" also cross-eyed.
Dark Helmet: "Who is he?"
Colonel Sanders: "He's an Asshole, sir."
Dark Helmet: "I know that! What's his name!"
Colonel Sanders: "That is his name, sir -- Asshole, Major Assole."
Dark Helmet: "And his cousin?"
Col. Sanders: "He's an Asshole, too, sir. Gunner's mate, first class, Philip Asshole."
Dark Helmet: "How many Assholes do we got on this ship anyhow?!"
Everybody in the two-story bridge stands up and puts their rights hands up, but one guy, "YO!!!!!"
Dark Helmet: Looking around, "I knew it -- I'm surrounded by Assholes..." slams his helmet visor down, "keep firing, assholes!!!"
("Spaceballs")



Seymour, reading a news paper with the bolded headline "Awful Scool Is Awful Rich" after oil is accidently struck on the school's premesis. Chalmers walks in.
Seymour: "HUH! Superintendant Chalmers!" quickly covering the first 'Awful' with his hand and showing the paper to Chalmers.
Chalmers: "Hum, what's that say under your hand?"
Seymour: "Oh, that's an unrelated story."
Chalmers: "An unrelated story."
Seymour: "Yes."
Chalmers: "Within the banner headline."
Seymour: "Yes."

Edna and Principal Seymour Skinner arguing in the cafeteria while the kids eat.
Seymour: Stands and yells, "Oh, come on, Edna! You and I both know these children have no future!!!"
"HUH!!! we hear all the kids exclaim and drop their silverware.
Seymour: "Prove me wrong, children. Prooovvve meee wrong!"
("The Simpsons")


Ray and Fraser are in Ray's car, persuing another vehicle through a grass, off-road land.
Fraser: "Ray, sapling," pointing it out.
Ray moves the car over and WHACK! Slams it into oblivion.
Ray: "Got it," without even realizing Fraser meant to avoid it.
("Due South")



Mr. Chapel: "It's been my experience that two million dollars usually leaves a person somewhere inbetween giddy, and stupid."

Pam (character in one episode): "Hello?" answering her cellphone.
Teddy Hix (very bad guy stalking her): On the other line, "You two make a cute couple."
Pam: "It's him, he's watching."
Mr. Chapel: After taking the cellphone from Pam, "Hey there, Ted."
Hix: "I'm gonna give you a choice: stay and die, or go and live."
Mr. Chapel: "Oh, come on now -- that's not very nice. Let me ask you a question, Ted; you ready? Here it is: do you have an innie or an outie?"
Hix: "What?" confused.
Mr. Chapel: "Your navel, Ted. I'll tell you why I asked. I've been doing some reading and they say men with outies like to crossdress and bake pies. Does that sound like you?"
Hix: "So, I guess I'm killing you," hangs up.
Pam (a phycologist): "Let me guess -- you were destabilizing him?"
Mr. Chapel: "That was a very legitimate survey."

Mr. Chapel: Faking a memo to get a bad guy in trouble, "Thee, ah, subject of the memo is: Dress Codes. In order to promote a more work-friendly environment, female employees will be required to raise the hem of theirs skirts to an attractive level. All portly and matronly women disregard this notice."
("Vengeance Unlimited")

Where's the RT button here?