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  1. Yes ladies and nerds, time for some jokes. I will start the thread off with one I just found at jwfan.com be a member called Joey:

    On the day he died ... Jerry Goldsmith approached St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Feigning ignorance St. Peter said, "Halt, who are you?"

    "I'm Jerry Goldsmith, let me in."

    St. Peter replied, "And why should I?"

    "Because I composed Star Trek the Motion Picture."

    "By all means pass through," says St. Peter.
    "May I shake your hand?"


    On the day John Willaims dies, he approaches the Pearly Gates and is greeted by St. Peter, who has blocked his approach.

    "And who are you?" he asks.

    "I'm John Williams, please let me in."

    "Give me one good reason why."

    "Because I wrote E.T. the Extra-terrestrial."

    Suddenly sobbing, St. Peter says, "Yes you did, yes you did, its an honor for me to let you pass. An honor sir. Just so you know, it made God cry."

    With a stunned look on his face, John comments, "Thanks, I didn't know that."

    On the day James Horner dies he approaches the heavenly gates and is promptly stopped by St. Peter.

    "Hello, I'm James Horner, where am I?"

    "You're at Heaven's Gates; would you like in?"

    "Why yes," replies Horner.

    "I will, if you can tell me a reason why I should," says St. Peter

    "Ok, I composed the score to Titanic."

    "Really are you sure? Come now James did you really? Do you think I just fell off the turnip cart? You wanna try again?"

    "Well, I composed Braveheart."

    St. Peter justs looks at him, with a bent head, and a raised eyebrow.

    "Ok, damnit, I wrote 'Stealing the Enterprise', from Search for Spock."

    "Alright then, you can come in, I was just giving you a bit of..." St. Peter looks around to make sure no one was there, and whispers into James' ear, "I was just giving you a bit of hell. Sorry. Just so you know, Titanic was good enough to let you in."

    On the day Hans Zimmer dies, he steps up to the gates. St. Peter greets him "Hans, Hans Zimmer how are you?"

    Hans, still in a daze from his horribly painful death, replies, "I don't know, do I know you?"

    "No, but I know you," replied St. Peter, "you composed Gladiator."
    St. Peter picks up his trumpet and sounds a few notes.

    Suddenly the Arch Angel Gabrial appears; he picks Zimmer up over his head and throws him down towards Hell.

    "How on Earth did he end up here?" asks Gabrial.

    "I don't know," replied St. Peter, "I guess Satan didn't want him either."
    The views and opinions of Ford A. Thaxton are his own and do not necessarily reflect the ones of ANYONE else.
    •  
      CommentAuthorErik Woods
    • CommentTimeJun 27th 2008
    rolleyes
    host and executive producer of THE CINEMATIC SOUND RADIO PODCAST | www.cinematicsound.net | www.facebook.com/cinematicsound | I HAVE TINNITUS!
    •  
      CommentAuthorSteven
    • CommentTimeJun 27th 2008
    You have issues Justin. Surely you can put your hatred towards people who actually deserve it? I'm not saying this because I get offended by anything you say - I don't. I'm just wondering why you bother... have you not better things to do?

    (The joke's... okay. Heard better.)
    • CommentAuthorsteb74
    • CommentTimeJun 27th 2008
    Sorry, but for me it's an boring piece of rat's dung sleep
    I like jwfan alot and have some great friends there, unfortunately there are alot of sheep too.
    There are times I think, you will never find a more wretched hive of .......................
    •  
      CommentAuthorErik Woods
    • CommentTimeJun 27th 2008
    Zimmer bashing is fun tongue but jokes are suppose to be funny and not painfully obvious! You could see the punch line coming from miles away. Snoooooooozer! sleep Sorry Justin.... no good!

    -Erik-
    host and executive producer of THE CINEMATIC SOUND RADIO PODCAST | www.cinematicsound.net | www.facebook.com/cinematicsound | I HAVE TINNITUS!
    • CommentAuthorsteb74
    • CommentTimeJun 27th 2008
    Perhaps I'm just a bit of a misery guts when it comes to things like this Erik, I dunno.
    For me it's almost the other side of the 'armchair expert' coin.
    For example, I remember in Ubeda last year thinking it would be interesting to hear so many film score fans express all their wisodm and advice to the various composers in the flesh as opposed to a messageboard.
    When it came time to ask questions and give opinions though, you will never see that many film score fans stare at their own feet in silence, very amusing indeed.
    ( by the way, sorry to derail your thread Justin beer )
    • CommentAuthorKornula
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2008
    Sure the punch line can be seen 100 miles off. but its not filled with hate. Just because someone acutally *like* Zimmer (though god knows why) does not mean the rest of the world knows the man is an untallented hack who has single handedly brought down the level of film scoring to an all time low, and intends to stay there
  2. Hello Korn biggrin
    http://www.filmmusic.pl - Polish Film Music Review Website
    •  
      CommentAuthorMarselus
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2008
    Steven wrote
    You have issues Justin.

    And loads of free time rolleyes
    Anything with an orchestra or with a choir....at some point will reach you
    •  
      CommentAuthorMartijn
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2008
    I thought the Horner bit was quite funny, actually.
    smile
    'no passion nor excitement here, despite all the notes and musicians' ~ Falkirkbairn
    •  
      CommentAuthorWilliam
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2008
    Martijn wrote
    I thought the Horner bit was quite funny, actually.
    smile


    I agree! LOL biggrin
    •  
      CommentAuthorWilliam
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2008 edited
    Kornula wrote
    Sure the punch line can be seen 100 miles off. but its not filled with hate. Just because someone acutally *like* Zimmer (though god knows why) does not mean the rest of the world knows the man is an untallented hack who has single handedly brought down the level of film scoring to an all time low, and intends to stay there


    Hi Kornula! Welcome! wave
    •  
      CommentAuthorSteven
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2008
    Kornula wrote
    Sure the punch line can be seen 100 miles off. but its not filled with hate.


    The joke may not be, but Justin is.
  3. So is Kornula, actually biggrin
    http://www.filmmusic.pl - Polish Film Music Review Website
    • CommentAuthorKornula
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2008
    Just hatred towards the worst composer living (Zimmer) but otherwise, I love everyone else
    •  
      CommentAuthorWilliam
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2008
    Kornula wrote
    Just hatred towards the worst composer living (Zimmer) but otherwise, I love everyone else


    shocked How can you say such a thing? confused
    •  
      CommentAuthorMarselus
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2008
    TheTelmarine wrote
    Kornula wrote
    Just hatred towards the worst composer living (Zimmer) but otherwise, I love everyone else


    shocked How can you say such a thing? confused

    I don´t know, but not a very wise sentence for his/her second post. Anyway, Zimmer bashing appears to be cool lately, so...
    Anything with an orchestra or with a choir....at some point will reach you
    •  
      CommentAuthorLSH
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2008
    Marselus wrote
    Zimmer bashing appears to be cool lately...


    ...and very childish.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMarselus
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2008
    LSH wrote
    Marselus wrote
    Zimmer bashing appears to be cool lately...


    ...and very childish.

    Agree wink
    Anything with an orchestra or with a choir....at some point will reach you
    • CommentAuthorTimmer
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2008
    Disliking a composer is fine but hatred!?

    I'll save my hate for people who deserve it like Robert Mugabe and Burma's military leaders and the like.

    I don't like a lot of Zimmer's music but I'd imagine he'd be better company in a pub than some of my favourites? cool
    On Friday I ate a lot of dust and appeared orange near the end of the day ~ Bregt
    •  
      CommentAuthorMarselus
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2008
    Timmer wrote
    Disliking a composer is fine but hatred!?

    Sure. All of us like / dislike certain composers, but hating them? confused I mean I´m not Danny Elfman´s biggest fan, but I´m sure I could laugh with him more than I would with a composer I like more.
    Anything with an orchestra or with a choir....at some point will reach you
  4. Some problems can't get over it, alas.
    http://www.filmmusic.pl - Polish Film Music Review Website
    •  
      CommentAuthorDemetris
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2008 edited
    It's very stupid, "the hating the worst composer alive today comment". rolleyes
    Love Maintitles. It's full of Wanders.
    • CommentAuthorAnthony
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2008
    Christodoulides wrote
    It's very stupid, "the hating the worst composer alive today comment". rolleyes


    So I'm a better composer than Hans Zimmer, and I've never written anything in my life? Cool! tongue cool
  5. Christodoulides wrote
    It's very stupid, "the hating the worst composer alive today comment". rolleyes


    For a while I thought it was him, who invented that joke. Due to the "horrible death" part. Yes. He really wants Zimmer dead.
    http://www.filmmusic.pl - Polish Film Music Review Website
    •  
      CommentAuthorDemetris
    • CommentTimeJul 3rd 2008 edited
    I thought it was a Justin's clone too. Maybe it is wink

    I might get one too, to quote me and say "i agree with Christodoulides" all the time!
    Love Maintitles. It's full of Wanders.
  6. No, it's not.
    http://www.filmmusic.pl - Polish Film Music Review Website
    •  
      CommentAuthorSteven
    • CommentTimeJul 3rd 2008
    Great, more Justins. All we need.
    •  
      CommentAuthorWilliam
    • CommentTimeJul 3rd 2008
    LSH wrote
    Marselus wrote
    Zimmer bashing appears to be cool lately...


    ...and very childish.


    Agreed! beer
    •  
      CommentAuthorWilliam
    • CommentTimeJul 3rd 2008 edited
    Steven wrote
    Great, more Justins. All we need.


    Oh, no! shocked LOL biggrin