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      CommentAuthorBobdH
    • CommentTimeJan 12th 2019 edited
    Wow. So this has become quite a long post, so ignore at your own will, it's also just to get this off my chest and in writing.


    So. I haven't been here a while, since I haven't been listening to music that much since the start of November. I'm probably writing this down here, to be able to get this off my chest a bit, and move on? Up until now I've been afraid to talk about it, because I'm afraid I'll be getting reactions like, 'aw yes, got that too, exactly the same thing, that won't go away again', and I'm still clinging to some hope. And I don't really want to mingle in the tinnitus-boards on Reddit, since I just swore never to come there again.

    So. Tinnitus. I've had a brief encounter with it the beginning of 2011, but then it went away, and am still hoping it does so again...

    It happened the beginning of November, when listening to Yorke's score for Suspiria. Please, no jokes here, I've been kicking myself over it ever since. I listened to it in bed, in the dark, and in the beginning I turned the volume down a notch since it was a bit loud. Should've turned it down even more, because of how brutal that score ends. When it was over, I immediately worried that was a bit much, developed a ringing in my left ear (not really the right one) and hoped it'd go away again. A month and a half later, it was still there.

    At that point, when I was Googling at the office, I stumbled upon some bits of info you don't want to see, and had something of a panic attack, which my employer noticed. He then kicked me towards the doctor, which I thought wouldn't have any effect, because it's not really something you can do anything about. I prepared for it to be a useless visit, when the assistant told me both ears were clogged with earwax. He explained vibrations of noise can cause the wax to vibrate towards the inner ear, and that was probably what had happened.

    Anyway, he cleaned both with lots of water, after which both ears were clogged with water, but to my surprise that evening when laying in bath, there it was - total silence in that ear. A friend came over, we watched a film, and later that evening what I was fearing happened also - a hissing in the left ear returned. However, when lying in bed, it was definitely quieter than before, so this procedure did help. The whole weekend was a lot better than before, but then - the night of Sunday to Monday, it returned in a completely different way. Now, I had all different kinds of sensations in both ears, which kept me awake all night. So back to the doctor again.

    That Tuesday, he looked at my ear, and said I possibly had some fluid now in my middle ear, causing this new sensation of tinnitus. And yes, several things changed; before the procedure, a loud beep always developed whenever I was in a train or a loud environment, that is now gone. However, now, I have this crackling sound whenever I swallow (and at times I had mucus dripping down my throat, although not so much anymore...), which I believe wasn't there before, and although the left ear is the worst, the right ear now also has a constantly changing form of beeps, hissed, etc. Also, when I went running before the cleaning-procedure, all was fine. A week and a half after the procedure I went running again, and the clogged feeling of the ear increased significantly, as did a loud hissing in both ears, which subsided later after taking a shower and stuff.

    So now my main worry is: is what I'm currently experiencing, a result of an acoustic trauma, or a result of a clogged middle ear? It's been a month since the cleaning procedure, and it doesn't seem to get better. I'm now filling my days with anxiously Googling and manically looking at the Reddit Tinnitus boards for answers, an app I just now deleted off my phone before going on a long walk to clear my mind.

    I'm constantly looking for signs which could point to either the one thing, or the other. I held a decibel meter next to my headphones on the penultimate track of Suspiria, which said 85 DB at the max, which according to the New York Times is a volume that can be tolerated for several hours, but how reliable is this?! Is the crackling whenever I swallow a symptom of those clogged Eustachian tubes? However, I then saw testimonies of other people with tinnitus saying a 'sensation of fullness' is a part of it. Is that that crackling??

    Also, the annoying thing is that regular sounds in a silent environment can trigger it, which means having classical music on a low level is more annoying than total silence. And whereas the past months when I woke up at night the tinnitus was barely noticeable, as it was in the morning, now, whenever I wake at night, it seems to be a lot worse all of a sudden! Is this to stay? Is it only to get worse gradually??

    Anyhow, I'm holding on to the thought this might still be the inner ear thing, combined with what the fact this also went away in 2011, it might do so again. I was only a single acoustic trauma, etc, etc. But it is keeping me up at night, and I need to find a way to get some good rest, and I'm also reading that a bad night's sleep is making it worse. Also, bought lots of multivitamines, magnesium, fish oil tablets, etc. Let's see if it helps...
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      CommentAuthorThor
    • CommentTimeJan 12th 2019 edited
    It's good to share these things, Bob.

    You'll probably now be annoyed by "I have that too" thing coming from me, but perhaps there's also comfort in knowing other people have it. I don't really know how to respond to such a post without giving you my own experience.

    I got chronic tinnitus in my left ear back in 2011 too (or 2010, can't remember), meaning it's there 24/7. No respite, except when I'm sleeping. When people ask me what the sound is, I say it's similar to the buzzing sound you can hear when you turned on those old "fat" TVs, just multiplied by 10. Through therapy, I eventually managed to cope, but last year, it worsened considerably for reasons unknown. I'm now back to therapy to learn how to cope with the new level. I've started using sleeping pills on selected days to be able to sleep (in addition to my sound pillow, hearing aid and other amenities, of course).

    Your situation sounds a bit different, however. You seem to have various types of sounds, and varying degrees of presence and -- if you're fortunate -- it's something biological that one may correct.

    Finding the cause of these things is tricky. For me, it's probably a permanent damage that occured in my cochlea those 7-8 years ago. But my tinnitus therapist has said it's not really worth speculating what the cause is. Nothing can be done with it anyway, so the trick is only to learn how to live with it.

    You mention sleep. That may be a trigger for a worsened state too (if you sleep too little or too much).

    Anyways, you seem fortunate in that it fluctuates rather than being there all the time. Here's hoping it goes away again.
    I am extremely serious.
  1. Sorry about all your ear troubles, Bob. That sounds just awful! I once has an inner ear infection for a few months. It took multiple doctor visits and multiple rounds of antibiotics to finally kill it. I only mention it because when I would swallow it affected my ears. It wouldn’t surprise me if that has more to do with your inner ear thing than tinnitus, but I don’t know anything about tinnitus, so there’s that. Best of luck to you.
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      CommentAuthorBobdH
    • CommentTimeJan 13th 2019
    Thanks for your response, Thor, and sharing your experience with it.

    And no, it’s not annoying at all. It is somehow good to know (many) others deal with it as well, and I do realize that there are others like yourself that have a much more severe form. I guess the fear is mostly in the unpredictability of it. There are people saying it grows steadily worse over time (my biggest fear), and those that say it steadily goes away in a few months time. I’m very much clinging to that latter thought, which is easier on days when I’ve had a good nights rest (like today) than those where I haven’t slept at all (like yesterday).

    The annoying thing is that, each time over the past few weeks that I thought I had some grip on it, it changes. And while I’m glad this changing thing also means I have evenings in relative silence, you can never depend on if it temporarily worsens or not.

    Over the holidays there were several days in which I noticed it had decreased, and thought that was a quite manageable level, but now it has worsened again. As long as I at least could go back to that... Oh well, I know I should pay as little attention to it as possible. Let’s just hope for the best.
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      CommentAuthorBobdH
    • CommentTimeJan 13th 2019
    christopher wrote
    Sorry about all your ear troubles, Bob. That sounds just awful! I once has an inner ear infection for a few months. It took multiple doctor visits and multiple rounds of antibiotics to finally kill it. I only mention it because when I would swallow it affected my ears. It wouldn’t surprise me if that has more to do with your inner ear thing than tinnitus, but I don’t know anything about tinnitus, so there’s that. Best of luck to you.


    Thanks Christopher, here’s hoping it is indeed a middle ear thing, then!
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      CommentAuthorBregt
    • CommentTimeJan 13th 2019
    I hope you find out soon what it is.

    I would advise to stop Googling and Redditeering about it, to shift focus away. On the internet, it goes worse quickly.
    Kazoo
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      CommentAuthorBobdH
    • CommentTimeJan 13th 2019 edited
    Bregt wrote
    I hope you find out soon what it is.

    I would advise to stop Googling and Redditeering about it, to shift focus away. On the internet, it goes worse quickly.


    Thanks smile. And yes, haha, those boards did probably just as much damage as good. It did teach me what best to eat, what is inflammatory, and so forth, but on the other hand, there are horror stories that can worsen your stress. I think I’ve got enough information for now, though...

    Btw, Thor, did you see these NeuroNod devices? I have to say, those patient stories do sound hopeful... And they’re launching the product in 2019.

    https://www.neuromoddevices.com/stories
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      CommentAuthorThor
    • CommentTimeJan 13th 2019 edited
    Not heard of that. As Bregt says, I'm reluctant to do much research online, as that will just take up further focus and paranoia. But thank you for the tip. Is that something you consider using?

    I have a hearing aid with sound that I sometimes use (it also boosts the decibel, since the hearing itself -- especially treble levels -- is also affected by the tinnitus).
    I am extremely serious.
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      CommentAuthorBobdH
    • CommentTimeJan 13th 2019
    Yeah, I’m pretty much done with the research as well, but came across this yesterday. It’s a device that apparently should be used twice a half an hour a day for 12 weeks, a combination of sound and stimulus of certain parts of the brain via some kind of transmitter, which seems to be in the final stages of testing. Those patient testimonies say it did indeed greatly diminish their symptoms, with one even saying it went away completely. If what I currently have stays (hoping it won’t, of course, now 2,5 months in), and if this machine comes on the market, then yes, I would consider it. But those are two ‘if’s, lets see how things work out.
  2. Just recently, my laptop is refusing to eject my external hard disk despite me closing down any program of disabling anything I can think of that could be using it. I could quite eject it without any problem before but now? No chance.

    crazy
    The views expressed in this post are entirely my own and do not reflect the opinions of maintitles.net, or for that matter, anyone else. http://www.racksandtags.com/falkirkbairn
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      CommentAuthorThor
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2019
    Couldn't you just 'jack' it out manually? In my experience, I've never had any issues with doing that without first 'ejecting' it (even though they always recommend that). But of course, I dropped my entire external harddisk on the floor, thus losing all my music and data, so I'm probably not one to speak. smile
    I am extremely serious.
  3. Since the disk in question is one of my music collection disks I don't want to take any chances!
    The views expressed in this post are entirely my own and do not reflect the opinions of maintitles.net, or for that matter, anyone else. http://www.racksandtags.com/falkirkbairn
  4. When you are turning the laptop off, you don't really have to eject it first. Closing the system alone will do it.
    http://www.filmmusic.pl - Polish Film Music Review Website
  5. PawelStroinski wrote
    When you are turning the laptop off, you don't really have to eject it first. Closing the system alone will do it.

    That's true. But I am wanting to eject the drive without having to turn off the computer.

    It used to do it fine until a few days ago. Perhaps a helpful Windows Update has tweaked something that now affects the smooth ejection of the drive?
    The views expressed in this post are entirely my own and do not reflect the opinions of maintitles.net, or for that matter, anyone else. http://www.racksandtags.com/falkirkbairn
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      CommentAuthorThor
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2019
    When I see photos of random fans on Facebook posing with a composer during a festival or whatever, and they call the composer 'my friend' or even 'my dear friend'. No, he/she is NOT your friend; stop pretending and just post the fan photo for what it is, dammit! Annoying.
    I am extremely serious.
  6. Who did that recently?
    http://www.filmmusic.pl - Polish Film Music Review Website
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      CommentAuthorThor
    • CommentTimeJul 8th 2019
    A whole bunch of people at the Malaga festival.
    I am extremely serious.
  7. Just having seen the trailer for Fast and Furious 9 (F9)

    OMG, one ridiculous nonsense after another. They were getting more and more over the top, but this is just downright laughable. And they throw in a major spoiler right away. If this movie is the success it's gunning for, I don't understand anything of movies anymore. Sometimes enough is enough
    waaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! Where's my nut? arrrghhhhhhh
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      CommentAuthorThor
    • CommentTimeApr 14th 2021
    I saw that whole movie series in sequence a couple of years ago, because one of my colleagues is a big fan. Not my thing, really, but I kinda liked the emerging mythology that eventually took shape. It's not something I'm prone to visit, though, and I have zero interest in the new film.
    I am extremely serious.
  8. Is it wrong when the only good thing I heard on the Justice League score (for now in track 26) is the opening song of Rose Betts? Jeezus man, everything track sounds like it begins in the same fashion.

    Any track that has some promise? Because this is becoming a chore to sit through everything
    waaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! Where's my nut? arrrghhhhhhh
  9. Haven't seen a single F&F movie - but did watch my first Godzilla movie last night. Godzilla vs Kong...I thought the blue glow-in-the-dark dragon-lizard was pretty cool.
  10. Digital photos. That's what is currently annoying me.

    I have a few meet-the-composer photos I know I have to show but they are distributed on various hard drives (some of which are now separate from their computers and just sitting drawers) that I can't readily access. I am sure that I have shared them on social media at some point in the past but it is trying to find them that's one of the most annoying things.
    The views expressed in this post are entirely my own and do not reflect the opinions of maintitles.net, or for that matter, anyone else. http://www.racksandtags.com/falkirkbairn
  11. And another thing. I did the weekly shop this morning and thought, 'no, I won't buy any beer this week. It will be good to take a break.'

    Eight hours later and I am gasping for a beer. Hope there's no Zoom meeting this week 'cause I am beerless.
    The views expressed in this post are entirely my own and do not reflect the opinions of maintitles.net, or for that matter, anyone else. http://www.racksandtags.com/falkirkbairn
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      CommentAuthorThor
    • CommentTimeApr 17th 2021
    Ha, ha. No, there's no Zoom meeting this week. But I'm aiming at the upcoming Saturday (a Saturday for once, to accomodate some of our US friends). Had four beers and a bottle of wine yesterday. And a good selection of specialty beers today. So Zoom or no Zoom, I'm going for it. And the weather is spectacular too, so it's needed (almost 20C and sunny).

    Would be fun to see some of your photos, but don't stress yourself out over it.
    I am extremely serious.
  12. Thor wrote
    Would be fun to see some of your photos, but don't stress yourself out over it.

    No chance of finding those photos at the moment. You'll just have to make do with a few film music-related books!
    The views expressed in this post are entirely my own and do not reflect the opinions of maintitles.net, or for that matter, anyone else. http://www.racksandtags.com/falkirkbairn