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Share your Jokes with us.

Off Topic » Share your Jokes with us. (Posts 91 to 120 of 174)

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  1. This is one of the funniest topics I've come across here on MT, but not because of the actual jokes. punk

    Though some are good. biggrin
    "considering I've seen an enormous debate here about The Amazing Spider-Man and the ones who love it, and the ones who hate it, I feel myself obliged to say: TASTE DIFFERS, DEAL WITH IT" - Thomas G.
    •  
      CommentAuthorBhelPuri
    • CommentTimeSep 8th 2009
    LSH wrote
    I got one for you all...


    One day, there's a knock on Sunil's door. Sunil comes to the doorway and is confronted by Sardar.

    Sardar: Shut... the fuck... up!


    smile

    Most likely reply-

    Sunil: What? I don't understand. confused
    •  
      CommentAuthorSunil
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Oh! yeah! i don't understand western people and their culture and attitude of insulting others. However, i like to talk to them.

    By the way, Bhelpuri! i have this question for long time in my head, why did you name yourself as Bhelpuri? Did you ever visited India? i guess that you should have had good Bhelpuri chat item and you should have liked it. Moreover, i guess you are from foreign nation. I don't know which nation you belong. But i say you just honored my country by keeping your name as BHELPURI. WELL DONE! applause

    Have a nice day!
    Racism, Prejudices and discrimination exists everywhere.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSunil
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    DreamTheater wrote

    This is one of the funniest topics I've come across here on MT


    That's it, man. You have said it. This means i have done my job extremely well. I have provided nice laughter and relaxation to the members of MT. Oh! yes, Sunil you simply rocks, come on, you can do it, nobody can stop you.
    Racism, Prejudices and discrimination exists everywhere.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSunil
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    OK, put as simply as possible: Have you heard of irony before?


    YES
    Racism, Prejudices and discrimination exists everywhere.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSunil
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Girl : When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

    Boy : It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

    Girl : Well that's because we aren't married yet.
    Racism, Prejudices and discrimination exists everywhere.
    •  
      CommentAuthorErik Woods
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    GROAN!

    -Erik-
    host and executive producer of THE CINEMATIC SOUND RADIO PODCAST | www.cinematicsound.net | www.facebook.com/cinematicsound | I HAVE TINNITUS!
    •  
      CommentAuthorSunil
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    kill suicide
    Racism, Prejudices and discrimination exists everywhere.
    •  
      CommentAuthorErik Woods
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    GROAN!

    -Erik-
    host and executive producer of THE CINEMATIC SOUND RADIO PODCAST | www.cinematicsound.net | www.facebook.com/cinematicsound | I HAVE TINNITUS!
    •  
      CommentAuthorSunil
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry

    kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill

    suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide

    explode explode explode explode explode explode explode explode explode
    Racism, Prejudices and discrimination exists everywhere.
    •  
      CommentAuthorDemonStar
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    stopwar
    •  
      CommentAuthorSunil
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Ravi, i have already told you several days before. This is an eternal battle between me and Erik. It will never end. BANGERANG!

    GO! SUNIL! GO! KICK THE ASS! kill
    Racism, Prejudices and discrimination exists everywhere.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSunil
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    One day, there's a knock on Sunil's door. Sunil comes to the doorway and is confronted by Sardar.

    Sardar: Shut... the fuck... up!


    Hey, LSH, kiss my ass! Below is another fucking sardar joke, read it and kiss your own ass! biggrin

    Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
    biggrin
    Racism, Prejudices and discrimination exists everywhere.
    •  
      CommentAuthorDemonStar
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Sunil wrote
    Ravi, i have already told you several days before. This is an eternal battle between me and Erik. It will never end. BANGERANG!

    GO! SUNIL! GO! KICK THE ASS! kill


    You don't wanna make enemies with certain people, amigo. Mark me words. cuba wink
    •  
      CommentAuthorSunil
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Oh! man, here nobody is my enemies. If Erik wants to have fun with me, why the hell i have to move a corner and make him a way to have all the fun in the world? No, i will not give up. Let him come and let see who wins the battle.

    COME ON! SUNIL, DON'T GIVE UP! YOU CAN'T DO IT! NEVER MIND WHAT THIS BULLSHIT WORLD SAYS, YOU DO YOUR DUTY. YOU ARE A BORN KILLER! biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin
    Racism, Prejudices and discrimination exists everywhere.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSouthall
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    The only thing that can save this thread is some Tommy Cooper jokes.

    I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

    A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'

    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chau-Chou. But I think it's Colin.

    'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.
    'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
    'Is it common?'
    'It's not unusual.'

    So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want', I said, 'I want to stay here'. She said, 'Well stay there' and shut the window.

    A man goes to the Psychiatrists and the Psychiatrist says: 'What's the problem' The man says, 'I think I'm becoming a kleptomaniac. 'The Psychiatrist says, 'Here take these tablets and if you're no better in a week, bring me a colour TV'.

    "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

    "So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"

    Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
    Doc says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it".
    http://www.movie-wave.net | http://facebook.com/moviewave
    • CommentAuthorAnthony
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Southall wrote
    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chau-Chou. But I think it's Colin.


    That's a good'un. applause
    •  
      CommentAuthorDemonStar
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Southall wrote
    A man goes to the Psychiatrists and the Psychiatrist says: 'What's the problem' The man says, 'I think I'm becoming a kleptomaniac. 'The Psychiatrist says, 'Here take these tablets and if you're no better in a week, bring me a colour TV'.

    "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

    "So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"


    LMAO lol
    •  
      CommentAuthorSunil
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    The only thing that can save this thread


    what???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

    This thread is great one. You can have all fun in the world. ENJOY! smile
    Racism, Prejudices and discrimination exists everywhere.
    •  
      CommentAuthorThor
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009 edited
    Sunil wrote
    OK, put as simply as possible: Have you heard of irony before?


    YES


    That's good to know, because it's a common feature on this board, along with sarcasm. I was not sure how extensive it was in Indian culture or in your own upbringing, so I thought maybe that was the reason for you don't understanding the irony here.
    I am extremely serious.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSunil
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Hi Thor,

    I agree with you that many times i haven't understood irony over here. To me, forum is difficult place to understand a person's actual intention of posting messages. See, many many times in my life i have seen people make ironical comments. This is not uncommon in our culture or with me. As of now, i am slowly able to understand irony in MT forum. At first, i wasn't in position to understand people's intention of replying to my post, but now i am cleared. Most of them are just like me. Hmmm... that's good.

    By the way, thanks for asking that question because this may provide some opportunity to others to discover about my own ironical comments. biggrin

    Have a nice day! smile
    Racism, Prejudices and discrimination exists everywhere.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSteven
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    face-palm-mt to the power of fireworks to the power of :googolplex:
    •  
      CommentAuthorSteven
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009 edited
    To carry on the theme of racism, here's a video of Sunil in a white helmet telling one of his jokes.
    • CommentAuthorTimmer
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Southall wrote
    The only thing that can save this thread is some Tommy Cooper jokes.

    I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

    A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'

    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chau-Chou. But I think it's Colin.

    'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.
    'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
    'Is it common?'
    'It's not unusual.'

    So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want', I said, 'I want to stay here'. She said, 'Well stay there' and shut the window.

    A man goes to the Psychiatrists and the Psychiatrist says: 'What's the problem' The man says, 'I think I'm becoming a kleptomaniac. 'The Psychiatrist says, 'Here take these tablets and if you're no better in a week, bring me a colour TV'.

    "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

    "So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"

    Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
    Doc says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it".



    Excellent! applause

    it makes it funnier in your head reading it as Tommy Cooper. What a legend.
    On Friday I ate a lot of dust and appeared orange near the end of the day ~ Bregt
    •  
      CommentAuthorDemetris
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Sunil wrote

    See, many many times in my life i have seen people make ironical comments. This is not uncommon in our culture or with me.



    There.
    Love Maintitles. It's full of Wanders.
  26. Timmer wrote


    Excellent! applause

    it makes it funnier in your head reading it as Tommy Cooper. What a legend.


    I did that too, with his gestures and facial expressions to match. Way more funny !!!! beer

    Thank god we have Sunil, without him we wouldn't have had such a good laugh.
    "considering I've seen an enormous debate here about The Amazing Spider-Man and the ones who love it, and the ones who hate it, I feel myself obliged to say: TASTE DIFFERS, DEAL WITH IT" - Thomas G.
    •  
      CommentAuthorBhelPuri
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Sunil wrote
    Oh! yeah! i don't understand western people and their culture and attitude of insulting others.


    Stuff like this makes me think that you're just trolling. And at other times you come across as naive. As much as I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt and think that it's the naiveté, you just keep digging yourself into a deeper hole with comments like this.

    By the way, Bhelpuri! i have this question for long time in my head, why did you name yourself as Bhelpuri? Did you ever visited India? i guess that you should have had good Bhelpuri chat item and you should have liked it. Moreover, i guess you are from foreign nation. I don't know which nation you belong. But i say you just honored my country by keeping your name as BHELPURI. WELL DONE! applause


    Assuming you're trolling...

    BhelPuri is just a nice sounding anagram of 'Heil Burp' which is what little German scouts are told to shout after eating a heavy meal.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMartijn
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009 edited
    BhelPuri wrote
    BhelPuri is just a nice sounding anagram of 'Heil Burp' which is what little German scouts are told to shout after eating a heavy meal.


    MAJOR ROFL!
    Well done! First out-loud laugh of the day!
    applause applause applause applause
    'no passion nor excitement here, despite all the notes and musicians' ~ Falkirkbairn
    •  
      CommentAuthorDemetris
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    biggrin Indeed! biggrin
    Love Maintitles. It's full of Wanders.
    •  
      CommentAuthorErik Woods
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2009
    Steven wrote
    To carry on the theme of racism, here's a video of Sunil in a white helmet telling one of his jokes.


    Oh Mercy! lol That was pure Gold! Where did you find that?

    -Erik-
    host and executive producer of THE CINEMATIC SOUND RADIO PODCAST | www.cinematicsound.net | www.facebook.com/cinematicsound | I HAVE TINNITUS!

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